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Amateur Hour.
Ken Levine, he of the Coolest Resume Ever (that's what you get when you've written for Frasier, Wings, and Cheers AND have done real time as part of a major league baseball broadcast team), is having a little finish-the-sentence joke contest. You have until midnight Pacific time tonight, if you get inspired. The sentence is:
Danny had such a fear of commitment that ...
If you ever spent hours watching Match Game, like I did when I was a kid, then you can already hear Gene Rayburn when you read this kind of setup. Right now, there are over 400 comments. I'm just an armchair wannabe sitcom writer, but I gotta say, I was surprised by how many submissions are really, seriously not funny.
An unnamed friend of Ken's, who is described as an Emmy-winning sitcom writer, will select five finalists, and then the readers will vote for the champion. So I might be coming back to you to grovel for votes later; guess we'll find out tomorrow.
Anyway, I entered twice:
Danny had such a fear of commitment that he only dated triplets.
Which is OK, but I feel better about the second one ...
Danny had such a fear of commitment that his epitaph was multiple-choice.
dagnabbit! missed the deadline. Here were my efforts: